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misc updates:

- Benjamin Font's audiobook thing has been fully funded.

- Jon Walker will be releasing his Home Recordings soon; appreciates Chuck Klosterman; and has announced "manscaping" as Term of the Day for 1/4/11 (I'm kind of dizzy with tired right now and find this hilarious, and also am wondering if he was watching Keltie on The Bachelor; another contestant who is a professional aesthetician brought it up (and brought her waxing tools to the first night!); and "online baby rumor" as a Phrase of the Day for 1/3. (Am now also wondering if someone has told him about the Spencer's Secret Baby thing? STOP GOOGLING YOUR (FORMER) BANDMATES, JWALK.)

- also, y'all, can I just tell you that The Bachelor makes my skin crawl? Because it does. DEAR EVERYONE INVOLVED: YOU ARE NOT GOING TO FIND A SPOUSE IN EIGHT WEEKS AS PART OF A TELEVISION CONTEST. The whole thing is just so revolting and weird and reinforces terrible behaviors, mainly in-fighting between the ladies over the man.

Keltie gets a little bit of that, actually, towards the end; she's being her usual ridiculous/awkward self and teaching him Rockette kicks and meanwhile a brace of other contestants are making disapproving faces and quasi-snide commentary and pretty clearly judging her kind of hard, and I am all >>>>>>>>>>>>:( because while I will acknowledge she's awkward, what she's doing isn't inappropriate at all.

(and now all of you can LOL DEFENSIVE KELTIE-WIFE at me. I know, I know, I just think the whole genre of spouse-contest reality shows are unpleasant and reward a kind of feminine submissiveness that I find deeply disquieting.)

- Meanwhile, in other news, Ryan surfaced after a long silence to share a picture of his face with a big red kissy-lips on his cheek; was excited that the Space Jam website still exists, untouched, after 15 years (holding it down Geocities style, too, it is AMAZING, and you know what, THE WHOLE INTERNET USED TO LOOK LIKE THAT. ON PURPOSE); and also had conversation with a friend / made a tweet suggesting that he (Ryan) was bitten by a "poisonous" feral cat. Dear Ryan Ross: perhaps your New Year's resolution should be: Avoid further serious injury?
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In previous meta installments, I've been reading, or in some cases re-reading, works produced by fairly established writers. Today, in considering the work of author Benjamin Font, I'm venturing into the murkier waters of modern literary fiction. Or . . . kind of literary fiction, and I mean that qualifier for both the "literary" and the "fiction", because Font's genre, if you want to call it that, is fictional autobiography mixed with some . . . magical realism, maybe? I'm a little bit at a loss as to how to describe it, though "vaguely hallucinogenic" comes to mind.

"Fictional autobiography" probably deserves some unpacking. )

Which is not to say his writing is bad. I began deeply skeptical - you wrote a book which is essentially a transcription of you talking to yourself in the car, by which I mean, you having quasi-apostrophaic conversations with a girlfriend and/or a dog? Really? - and ended feeling a kind of grudging, amused, irritated affection. The works I sampled were at times and by turns fascinating, pretentious, whiny, finely wrought observations, kind of affected and deeply ridiculous, but yet . . . I would read more. He has, somehow, successfully gotten me invested in his self-created soap opera of his own life, which, it is worth noting, may bear only a passing resemblance to his ACTUAL life.

On the subject of his works: his current project is an audiobook [kickstarter; deadline is Jan.1, 2011] which purports to be about a (fictional) cult, The Sons and Daughters of the Earth, though they also seem to exist as a real group, or as a mostly-real group, though under a slightly different name - Children of the Earth. They have a blog , at any rate, which is run by a real person. (Font also has a blog.) I have largely come to the conclusion that it's probably all elaborate performance art. But more on that later. But more on that later. )
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Changed my mind, Ryan Rossy gets his own post.

So, he: shared an actually terrifying video that Vicky-T inflicted upon him; had some conversations with Brendon; also did some Halloween stuff (haunted Hayride in Griffith Park, with Gillian Welch and Dave Rawlings, of all people); either expressed his cluelessness about pussywillows or heard someone else doing so; washed his hair with bubblebath; was Atreyu (Neverending Story) for Halloween (Z was The Childlike Empress!); later informed the internet that his plans for the day were "I'm gonna feed you, rip off those jeans, and take you to the hospital" (?!); was possibly sarcastic being interested in the fortunes of the (I'm assuming, since he didn't specify)) San Francisco Giants (baseball); asked Greenwald if he (Greenwald) thought it was weird that he (Greenwald) sang like the guy from Spin Doctors (no he does not, Ryan); appreciated Michael Ian Black's tweets about George Lopez; hung out with the Bad Rabbits;

announced that from now on he would go by "Dingus Khan", a nickname bestowed by a friend who I think might be also known as Benjamin Font; shared a picture of a "remix" knob; RT'd Nick Murray promoting the Black Apples; told a different friend he (Ryan) wished he (the friend) would wear bell bottoms all the time; discovered he loved reality TV; rediscovered his love for hockey; told Benjamin Font to stop being emo it was making him sad (STILL HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS, YOU GUYS); clarified that by "reality tv" he meant Billy the Exterminator and Ancient Aliens; commiserated with HarMarSuperStar about daylight savings time totally eliminating sunlight from his day; apparently researched the secret photos of serial killers;

discussed malls with a friend; quoted Z comparing herself to Tupac; was surprised he was a trending topic, shared a picture of himself and a friend in hockey gear; expressed his distaste for the Facebook sound; appreciated apple juice; sneezed so hard he lost his sunglasses; was excited about the Beatles being on iTunes and "boomshakalaka" being a trending topic; appreciated Shane and Dallon's Doritos commercial; reposted the Daytrotter link; combined a reference to Saber Toothed cats and (I'm guessing) Tish Cyrus (as in, the ultimate cougar, maybe? It was around the time the news of her possible affair with Bret Michaels was in the headlines);

waffled about ordering pizza the day before Thanksgiving; was pleased the Deluxe Package postcards were getting to people; had a great many FEELINGS about soup, sandwiches and fast food (he doesn't like Subway, or McDonalds); invited a friend to join himself and Greenwald in having soup & sandwiches and watching TV in bed (I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP, Y'ALL); said something about not doing shots and compared a girl to Brendon Fraser in Encino Man; narrowly avoided spoiling his dinner with pretzels; and was kind of grumpy about other people not appreciating Change.

Also happening during this period: Keltie's book came out.
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Panic! at the Disco

Spencer remains a sexy sphinx; Brendon noted his 100,000+ followers (a huge jump from where he was earlier this summer!); may possibly have had to look up "incorrigible" (he didn't quite use it properly in context); seemed to be pleased it was raining; and his best girl beat him at Wii bowling, which he attributed to her wearing bowling shoes while playing. (They are so ridiculous and adorable. ♥Brendon & Sarah♥)

The Like

Went out on their West Coast mini-tour - in addition to various show announcements, there was some wordplay with fans and also Hunter Burgan of AFI (!), a note about listening to the Beach Boys, a comment about being able to fry an egg in the van, and finally a tweet about Annie learning French and Z sleeping while the others drove/DJ'd that later got deleted. They also shared a picture of some fans; asked for shopping advice in Portland; shared three videos from their ICA (London) performance; wished both John Lennon and Alex Greenwald a happy birthday; shared a picture from a Kate Spade party they apparently went to/played at; departed on their mini-European tour; shared a blog post full of pictures from the Paris show; rode in a water taxi in Rotterdam & have video to prove it (Z's expression at the end is really funny); hung out with an elephant in Hamburg; someone's (Z's?) inner 12 yr old was ecstatic to be at at Nickleodeon with slime and later playing a show with Jamiroquai; shared a Kate Spade video; and finally noted the passing of Ari Up (The Slits) with sadness.

NB: There was also tweet with a link to blog post I think from Brussels, that was in French, which they seem to have since deleted. When I read it, the review was positive towards them but - and this is based on a somewhat fractured Google translation - did seem to have a kind of strange, gross undertone of "if you don't like them you must be gay" which may or may not be why they deleted it.

The Young Veins )


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